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[TuxedoSammy]

If women were allowed to be the more "manly" traits: Brave, independent, confident, etc., their behavior would reflect that societal shift.

That's already been in progress since the inception of feminism and earlier. Women are already allowed to delve into masculine traits in all sorts of mediums: clothes, attitude, jobs, etc. It's good to be brave and independent, but also good to lean on a shoulder when things get overwhelming too.

 

[Jsisto]

Amen. And that change has happened on the male side as well, as evidenced by your description of your exes. But short of literally not being men anymore or taking estrogen, it is never going to be needed to the same degree by men as it is by women. And that's ok.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

I was chatting with a mentally disturbed woman a while back who said the same thing, right before blowing up and storming away.

I'm already used to men disagreeing with me even when they're wrong.

 

[touchfuzzy]

Well I'm glad I got married before the apps really came in and took off.

 

[Wildebeest]

I'm already used to men disagreeing with me even when they're wrong.

Here is the conclusion. If you just want someone to be sympathetic to you and encourage you to open up, don't approach a man. They might know what you want and try to give it to you, but you are wearing them down with demands they find unnatural and are uncomfortable with.

 

[qwertz12345]

Well I'm glad I got married before the apps really came in and took off.

I'd say 2016 is when things started really going downhill...

 

[Jsisto]

Speaking of emotions, my ex told me she was drowning in emotion and had a sinking feeling after fucking another man. If only she had fully drowned, then I could have played the grieving widower card.

 

[InterMusketeer]

If men were allowed to be the more "girly" emotions: scared, sad, needy, etc., their behavior would reflect that societal shift.

I just don't think those emotions are attractive to most women, no matter how much they claim otherwise.

Our society has come a long way, but at our core modern humans are much the same as those who lived in caves, surrounded by danger and uncertainty. Women are wired to look for men who can protect and provide for them and their kids when they're vulnerable. Men who communicate their doubts and fears are not seen as capable and thus unattractive. Men are not just told to be stoic, they are programmed to act that way. For thousands of years this benefited both men and women.

As women were pushed to go to college and begin careers for themselves over the past few decades, men lost their traditional role as provider and protector. Society has progressed, but our brains can't catch up that quickly. It has left some men confused as they look for a new purpose, and some women drunk with their newfound power that they wield irresponsibly. It's a brave new world when it comes to relationships, and it'll take a while before we find a good new way to structure them I think.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

Amen. And that change has happened on the male side as well, as evidenced by your description of your exes. But short of literally not being men anymore or taking estrogen, it is never going to be needed to the same degree by men as it is by women. And that's ok.

In oriental East Asian countries, or at least the mainstream ones, younger generations of men are a lot more affectionate to their gfs and even to their guy friends. It's apart of the culture where men will frequently text their girls, and there are little to no "games" waiting a certain amount of time until it's okay to text. They will text immediately. It's not just a Kpop idol thing; they're just allowed to be more "feminine" because their culture around being a man is different. I'm not saying there aren't problems in other regards, but in terms of this, it's a notable difference that I think can be achieved even if men and women's brains operate from different parts of the brain. Men and women already agree on so much, even though we may access different parts of the brain. That indicates that even if I start at point A and you start at point B, we can both still get to point C.

The USA still very much perpetuates harmful toxic masculinity. Another ex of mine was constantly scrutinized by his male buddies for eating a veggie burger and for being vegan, because it's seen as a jokey girl thing. Girl things are often scrutinized heavily, because they're not manly. I can go on and on with these anecdotal examples. Not just that I've personally seen, but I see all the time in media and forums like Reddit.

My last ex may have been more sensitive and understanding, but he still closed-off and ghosted because he felt ashamed to express how he felt to me. In doing so, he drank himself into a stupor and felt miserable. More recently when he ghosted me a few weeks ago, he was planning to kill himself. He always feels better when I can help him navigate his emotions with him, but when he closes off, he goes to extremes. Now he's playing video games all day everyday because that's another coping mechanism he utilizes to avoid his emotions rather than communicating with me.

This is heartbreaking for me to see men struggling like this to open-up, because it can result in feeling better, but there's pride and other toxic shit ingrained in them from birth.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

Here is the conclusion. If you just want someone to be sympathetic to you and encourage you to open up, don't approach a man. They might know what you want and try to give it to you, but you are wearing them down with demands they find unnatural and are uncomfortable with.

That's why it's on them to tell me when I am crossing a boundary. Use your words. Ghosting is not a healthy form of communication.

 

[The Cockatrice]

I see why you're single.

I'm not. Check mate.

 

[Redneckerz]

I have the same thing with neogaf posts.. they feel like job interviews sometimes. You get judged so easily on them.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

I just don't think those emotions are attractive to most women, no matter how much they claim otherwise.

Our society has come a long way, but at our core modern humans are much the same as those who lived in caves, surrounded by danger and uncertainty. Women are wired to look for men who can protect and provide for them and their kids when they're vulnerable. Men who communicate their doubts and fears are not seen as capable and thus unattractive. Men are not just told to be stoic, they are programmed to act that way. For thousands of years this benefited both men and women.

As women were pushed to go to college and begin careers for themselves over the past few decades, men lost their traditional role as provider and protector. Society has progressed, but our brains can't catch up that quickly. It has left some men confused as they look for a new purpose, and some women drunk with their newfound power that they wield irresponsibly. It's a brave new world when it comes to relationships, and it'll take a while before we find a good new way to structure them I think.

I think you're oversimplifying it. How one is raised effectively codes their programming. Genetics are like doors, and you can't walk through all of them. Depending on how you are raised and the stimuli you undergo depends on which doors unlock and open, and which ones stay closed.

Some women don't like reasonably emotionally-expressive men, and those women are probably toxic for a myriad of reasons.

There is such a thing as being too emotional and sensitive, and no one, regardless of gender, likes that. I woulda gone to the end's of the Earth for my bf if he communicated how he was feeling to me or even just left a message: "Hey, I'm not feeling well today. I'll update you tomorrow. I love you." but he chose to ghost for a few days. I have needs too. I can't be in a relationship by myself. It hurts being ghosted and makes me emotionally unstable.

 

[Jsisto]

In oriental East Asian countries, or at least the mainstream ones, younger generations of men are a lot more affectionate to their gfs and even to their guy friends. It's apart of the culture where men will frequently text their girls, and there are little to no "games" waiting a certain amount of time until it's okay to text. They will text immediately. It's not just a Kpop idol thing; they're just allowed to be more "feminine" because their culture around being a man is different. I'm not saying there aren't problems in other regards, but in terms of this, it's a notable difference that I think can be achieved even if men and women's brains operate from different parts of the brain. Men and women already agree on so much, even though we may access different parts of the brain. That indicates that even if I start at point A and you start at point B, we can both still get to point C.

The USA still very much perpetuates harmful toxic masculinity. Another ex of mine was constantly scrutinized by his male buddies for eating a veggie burger and for being vegan, because it's seen as a jokey girl thing. Girl things are often scrutinized heavily, because they're not manly. I can go on and on with these anecdotal examples. Not just that I've personally seen, but I see all the time in media and forums like Reddit.

My last ex may have been more sensitive and understanding, but he still closed-off and ghosted because he felt ashamed to express how he felt to me. In doing so, he drank himself into a stupor and felt miserable. More recently when he ghosted me a few weeks ago, he was planning to kill himself. He always feels better when I can help him navigate his emotions with him, but when he closes off, he goes to extremes. Now he's playing video games all day everyday because that's another coping mechanism he utilizes to avoid his emotions rather than communicating with me.

This is heartbreaking for me to see men struggling like this to open-up, because it can result in feeling better, but there's pride and other toxic shit ingrained in them from birth.

Nothing but personal anecdotes. Which, I feel for you. It seems like you've been in some bad relationships, but I can tell you just as many anecdotes about "toxic males" I have known for years that have very happy and healthy relationships with their significant others. Kids even. It's not so black and white. Me and my buddies used to shit talk each other all the time and I think we turned out pretty ok. It's one of the ways males bond that women will never understand.

Men are not hardwired to have to sit down and talk about their emotions to feel validated, appreciated. Now, if I had a personal tragedy and needed to rely on some friends for support I'm sure they'd hear me out. But that's different and not an everyday occurence.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

Nothing but personal anecdotes. Which, I feel for you. It seems like you've been in some bad relationships, but I can tell you just as many anecdotes about "toxic males" I have known for years that have very happy and healthy relationships with their significant others. Kids even. It's not so black and white. Me and my buddies used to shit talk each other all the time and I think we turned out pretty ok. It's one of the ways males bond that women will never understand.

I don't think shit talking is hard to understand. It's fun, funny, makes things light and easy. Laughter is powerful and makes people feel better. It's how you relieve stress and feel a sense of "home." I do something similar in my relationships. I lightly roast to have fun and laugh. That's how I've always been. A great example of this is Xander and Cordelia's relationship on the ever-so-cheesy Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show from the 90s.

I don't disbelieve there are healthy relationships, I just don't know how to verify them without being a third wheel, which I'm not interested in. I do think it's a bit of a formula, like the woman has to be ignorant to lies and deceit or actively ignore major flaws to be happy. My mom had to ignore the fact that my dad pined for another woman and cheated. My brother's wife has to ignore that he cheated. I'm not so easily fooled by masking. Lots of couples do it, but in private, there are problems.

 

[dorkimoe]

I've had long relationships most of my life, had like 5 different 4 year relationships. But yeah when I am single and have to go on dates..its pretty awful, I just want wait to get past the interview phase

 

[daffyduck]

My niece (24yr old) now asks for credit score while on the first date.

For real? And her date doesn’t tell her to pound sand?

 

[TuxedoSammy]

I've had long relationships most of my life, had like 5 different 4 year relationships. But yeah when I am single and have to go on dates..its pretty awful, I just want wait to get past the interview phase

Just curious, what are the sorts of questions you get that are considered "interview phase?"

 

[Jsisto]

I don't think shit talking is hard to understand. It's fun, funny, makes things light and easy. Laughter is powerful and makes people feel better. It's how you relieve stress and feel a sense of "home." I do something similar in my relationships. I lightly roast to have fun and laugh. That's how I've always been. A great example of this is Xander and Cordelia's relationship on the ever-so-cheesy Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show from the 90s.

I don't disbelieve there are healthy relationships, I just don't know how to verify them without being a third wheel, which I'm not interested in. I do think it's a bit of a formula, like the woman has to be ignorant to lies and deceit or actively ignore major flaws to be happy. My mom had to ignore the fact that my dad pined for another woman and cheated. My brother's wife has to ignore that he cheated. I'm not so easily fooled by masking. Lots of couples do it, but in private, there are problems.

That’s really unfortunate, and I’m sorry you’ve had so many shit guys in your life. But you have to understand, and I’m sure you do, that it oftentimes is the exact opposite and relationships are way more complicated than “woman has to be ignorant to lies and deceit”. There are plenty of woman capable of the exact same thing, and I can say that from experience. Obviously not all of them, though. People are complicated, it’s not so simple.

 

[InterMusketeer]

I think you're oversimplifying it. How one is raised effectively codes their programming. Genetics are like doors, and you can't walk through all of them. Depending on how you are raised and the stimuli you undergo depends on which doors unlock and open, and which ones stay closed.

And I think you're too easily dismissing this point. Every living being on this planet has but one purpose: to procreate. It's why people have this innate desire to be intimate in the first place. One can only reproduce if they possess the right qualities that predict success. Men and women have valued these qualities for thousands of generations, and that is still reflected in us today as well as in our society. You don't just change that in a couple of generations.

There is such a thing as being too emotional and sensitive, and no one, regardless of gender, likes that. I woulda gone to the end's of the Earth for my bf if he communicated how he was feeling to me or even just left a message: "Hey, I'm not feeling well today. I'll update you tomorrow. I love you." but he chose to ghost for a few days. I have needs too. I can't be in a relationship by myself. It hurts being ghosted and makes me emotionally unstable.

No offense, but your relationship seems pretty unique, what with the depressions, mental condition(s?) and the long-distance aspect. I don't think you can just take that experience and take it as an example of an average relationship.

 

[Brazen]

I do prefer 6'0" tall guys and a dick between 6-7", but, like most women, my preferences don't dictate who I actually date. The qualities that matter most and dictate who I want to date are being really lenient on appearance and more to do with his character. I've liked a man who was 5'2" and dated a man who was 5'6" with an average dick. Women are less shallow when it comes to physical appearance compared to men, which is why you're more likely to see a hot woman with an ugly man.

As a 40 year old who's 5'6 the amount of times I've heard this statement coming from women, in all walks of life, who ends with someone taller than them? Well I find that it's almost always. Though to be fair men are naturally taller so I take that into account. With that said, that the only women I've dated who took me (and the date) seriously I can confidently say were all shorter than me.

So, do excuse me when I say that this thought statement/process is liken to one of the biggest piles of bullshit women tell themselves and hypocritically believe, even when they truly believe these statements in their own minds. However, reality doesn't imitate what we perceive to be true or believe and will thus paint us a more accurate truth: that outside beauty and stature, while being factors that should matter the least, unfortunately matter way way more than it should especially in the modern world of post social media.

 

[dorkimoe]

Just curious, what are the sorts of questions you get that are considered "interview phase?"

I dont think its necessary that someone is asking questions to get to know you; but there was one month i went on like 6 dates and it becomes a chore after awhile answering the SAME questions and asking the same questions.

I think it was more me asking the questions as the guy. Just asking what they do, where there from, hobbies, interests etc.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

No offense, but your relationship seems pretty unique, what with the depressions, mental condition(s?) and the long-distance aspect. I don't think you can just take that experience and take it as an example of an average relationship.

It is a unique relationship. While I'm using it for several examples, I'm also calculating my other relationships and minglings in the mix, which has been a pool of 60+ men. All liars or worse issues.

 

[Moneal]

It is a unique relationship. While I'm using it for several examples, I'm also calculating my other relationships and minglings in the mix, which has been a pool of 60+ men. All liars or worse issues.

Do you have any men in your life that help you vet the men you start relationships with?

 

[InterMusketeer]

It is a unique relationship. While I'm using it for several examples, I'm also calculating my other relationships and minglings in the mix, which has been a pool of 60+ men. All liars or worse issues.

Everyone lies, so it's hardly worth mentioning as a unique trait for men. What kind of other issues do the men you're talking about have? I mean, pretty much everyone's struggling with some kind of issue at some level, but the way you bring this up makes me think they're severe enough that they prevent a meaningful relationship. I sincerely doubt men as a collective are in such a sorry state.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

As a 40 year old who's 5'6 the amount of times I've heard this statement coming from women, in all walks of life, who ends with someone taller than them? Well I find that it's almost always. Though to be fair men are naturally taller so I take that into account. With that said, that the only women I've dated who took me (and the date) seriously I can confidently say were all shorter than me.

So, do excuse me when I say that this thought statement/process is liken to one of the biggest piles of bullshit women tell themselves and hypocritically believe, even when they truly believe these statements in their own minds. However, reality doesn't imitate what we perceive to be true or believe and will thus paint us a more accurate truth: that outside beauty and stature, while being factors that should matter the least, unfortunately matter way way more than it should especially in the modern world of post social media.

The average female height in the US is 5'3" and the average male height is 5'9". Yes, it's going to be mostly taller man x shorter woman. That's not coincidence or shallowness. That's probability.

Can you further describe how the taller women didn't take you seriously? Could just be a coincidence you found the minority of women who care about you being 5'6". Or, a plethora of other factors, like acting less confident. Need more context.

I'm 5'1", so just about every man is going to be taller than me. After a certain height, people start looking weird anatomically, so I'm more likely to be unattracted to men shorter than me. Despite that, I still liked a man who was 5'2" because he took care of himself, worked out, and was charming. I believe 5'6" is in the range of still having attractive-length limbs. Dated a man who was 5'6". Dated a man who was 5'9". Sooo...my 6'0" preference did not dictate who I dated. Although I did date someone who was 6'2" and 6'0", but I didn't know that until I met them and already had a mental connection with them.

Disclaimer: I said women are less shallow, not "not at all shallow."

Again, if I connect with someone, or find the good in them, I can overcome how they look. I've liked a lot of ugly dudes.

Tbh, I think a nice dick is more important than the rest of his exterior. Let that one fuck you up too. Hehe.

 

[lachesis]

I was talking to my co-worker (31F) and she was painting quite a bit of different picture on this matter - that young men around her age in NYC, don't seem to bring anything to the table (saying many don't even have jobs, living with their parents) but just want some quick action. She said I won't understand because it's the generational difference. (I'm Gen X, and she's an millenial) In order for me to be cordial, I didn't re-butt anything back and just listened... but I see both side have points.

My conclusion is that I think both sides, just ended up not needing each other in western society and many developed countries like Korea/Japan and- as if we shot our own feet with our advanced material comfort and all.

But I do agree that dating these days.. feels like a job interview to certain degree, more so than long ago, and it seems like many seem to have more "standards" on their list, than giving a relationship a honest go, and see where it takes you. It is sometimes so risky, especially for men (divorce).

I am an old man, and as a 49 year old single introverted dad with nerdy hobbies... I felt like "hide the pain Harold" meme guy when I put myself on the online dating for the first time since my divorce 7 years ago. It took me over $1000 bucks and several months of unproductive, uncomfortable first dates and many older 50+ women who just seems to be looking for some quick validation... - I nearly gave up on the whole thing... and I finally found a girl that I'd like to go out in serious manner. I do have more advantage of having a bit of asset under my belt and less hormonal urges - but honestly.. I don't envy young folks these days, including my own child. They have more material stuff galore in their lives, but something is really missing. Often the case, seems to be the "purpose".

 

[TuxedoSammy]

Do you have any men in your life that help you vet the men you start relationships with?

Oh, my gosh, what a great segue to Jeffrey! My very first bf!

I trusted him almost immediately because he was a friend of my brother's, who he knew for several years prior. What a mistake! I was 17-19 at the time, so I was little dumb baby.

I don't need a man to vet for me. I can spot red flags with ease. It's just a matter of ignoring them intentionally for the dopamine hit. Out of all the men I've mingled with, I've only seriously dated four of them.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

I dont think its necessary that someone is asking questions to get to know you; but there was one month i went on like 6 dates and it becomes a chore after awhile answering the SAME questions and asking the same questions.

I think it was more me asking the questions as the guy. Just asking what they do, where there from, hobbies, interests etc.

Ah, yeah, that makes sense because there's no point wasting time on someone who doesn't align with you on your core beliefs. Do you use a dating app? Perhaps implement answering common questions in your profile and then the date can be more relaxed and fun, or prompt new, more interesting questions.

 

[Moneal]

Oh, my gosh, what a great segue to Jeffrey! My very first bf!

I trusted him almost immediately because he was a friend of my brother's, who he knew for several years prior. What a mistake! I was 17-19 at the time, so I was little dumb baby.

I don't need a man to vet for me. I can spot red flags with ease. It's just a matter of ignoring them intentionally for the dopamine hit. Out of all the men I've mingled with, I've only seriously dated four of them.

You have proven in this very thread that you indeed can not spot red flags with ease.

I've flirted with a lot of men over the years, and dated four out of a pool of 60+. Every single one of them was a liar, and sometimes worse. I've mingled with introverts, extroverts, charismatic, shy, nerdy, outgoing, sweet good boy, bad boy, etc. The most heart breaking of them all are the sweet ones who you think are honest and kind, but you find out they're just as much liars and cruel as the bad boy Chads y'all hate so much.

Did you talk to your brother about Jeffrey?

 

[TuxedoSammy]

Everyone lies, so it's hardly worth mentioning as a unique trait for men. What kind of other issues do the men you're talking about have? I mean, pretty much everyone's struggling with some kind of issue at some level, but the way you bring this up makes me think they're severe enough that they prevent a meaningful relationship. I sincerely doubt men as a collective are in such a sorry state.

Yes, even I lie: to people who don't matter. I don't lie to my bfs, because that person becomes apart of my life, an extension of me, and I like mutual trust. One small lie can grow into a bigger lie, and then you don't know what the fuck is the truth or not.

I don't/haven't dated women, but every man I've dated/mingled with has been a liar. That's a deal-breaker. I don't mind white lies to avoid spoiling a surprise and other similar things, but lying about important issues or even just a constant lying about small things, is unacceptable. It warps my mind.

My first bf lied about being a virgin. LOL I value virginity for multiple reasons, and he knew that, so he lied. Not only did that make me lose trust in him and what he was capable of, but he wasn't something I valued. What's more disturbing is I knew he wasn't a virgin when we started flirting. He put in EFFORT to say everything he told me was a lie, even through all of my questioning and skepticism. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, men lie about not being virgins as to not look like a loser. Derp.

Men have also lied about not being in a relationship, things about them that they think would make them be more appealing, flirting with other girls behind my back, giving another girl his number, those are some of the worst off the top of my head.

The thing is lies are like mice: if there's one, there's an infestation. That has been proven to be true if I stick around long enough to find out.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

You have proven in this very thread that you indeed can not spot red flags with ease.

Did you talk to your brother about Jeffrey?

Yes I can, I just ignored them because I was addicted to the crack my bf was selling.

Yes, I even started crying uncontrollably in front of my brother. He didn't say or do anything. He's not good at expressing emotions or concern, presuming he has any. From my perspective, he didn't seem to care that Jeff broke my heart or lied to me. He still talked to him as if nothing had happened.

 

[Fenix34]

Just the usual apps, tinder, bumble, hinge etc

There's no real people on this sites

 

[Jsisto]

Yes, even I lie: to people who don't matter. I don't lie to my bfs, because that person becomes apart of my life, an extension of me, and I like mutual trust. One small lie can grow into a bigger lie, and then you don't know what the fuck is the truth or not.

I don't/haven't dated women, but every man I've dated/mingled with has been a liar. That's a deal-breaker. I don't mind white lies to avoid spoiling a surprise and other similar things, but lying about important issues or even just a constant lying about small things, is unacceptable. It warps my mind.

My first bf lied about being a virgin. LOL I value virginity for multiple reasons, and he knew that, so he lied. Not only did that make me lose trust in him and what he was capable of, but he wasn't something I valued. What's more disturbing is I knew he wasn't a virgin when we started flirting. He put in EFFORT to say everything he told me was a lie, even through all of my questioning and skepticism. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, men lie about not being virgins as to not look like a loser. Derp.

Men have also lied about not being in a relationship, things about them that they think would make them be more appealing, flirting with other girls behind my back, giving another girl his number, those are some of the worst off the top of my head.

The thing is lies are like mice: if there's one, there's an infestation. That has been proven to be true if I stick around long enough to find out.

The fact you couldn’t find a good man, flaws and all, out of a pool of 60+ men, perhaps says more about where you are meeting these men than men as a whole. Either that or your standards are in the stratosphere.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

The fact you couldn’t find a good man, flaws and all, out of a pool of 60+ men, perhaps says more about where you are meeting these men than men as a whole. Either that or your standards are in the stratosphere.

I've met men from all sorts of sources. School, work, hobbies, video games, forums, everywhere.

I endured a lot to be with my last bf, so my standards are definitely not mystical. There's a hefty list of misdemeanors most people would have left after slight number two. Nor is he conventionally attractive, but he does have a really nice dick.

I know I shouldn't have stayed with him for as long as I did, but as others have pointed out how relationships can be, it's complicated. He had good reasons, and I wanted to make him better because I care about him. He's mentally ill with a very serious disease and by the time I learned about his bad habits, I was already addicted and in love with him. It's not so easy to detach, despite knowing you have to. And blah blah, I already know you can't fix someone else or think he'll change for you. I didn't expect him to change for me, but I did try to help him, and some of it did work.

I also gaslit myself a lot by listening to shit like "women overreact." I convinced myself I was the problem at one point because my mind was so warped.

I have good intuition. I still don't believe he is a bad guy who means to do bad things, but he does do bad things, because he's not one-dimensional. He has layers, damage, and a mental illness that is hard to understand for most.

 

[InterMusketeer]

I don't/haven't dated women, but every man I've dated/mingled with has been a liar.

So you've interacted with 60+ men in a romantic context and all of them were liars. That statement alone is hard to swallow. But then you reveal that there were instances where you knew they were liars and allowed yourself to be taken advantage of. And you say lying is a deal-breaker for you.

 

[Woggleman]

After my split from my first engagement I just didn't care anymore. I did what made me happy and a woman could take it or leave it and I found out dealing with them got a whole lot easier. At the end of the day they are neither goddesses nor the enemy. They are people just like me and should be treated as such.

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

After being dumped by my GF of 6 years I can't see me ever having a gf or partner again myself

Not only do I think I'm 100000% unworthy of finding someone else I'm too introverted and lack of a social circle to find anyone. (Dating apps won't work I'm too ugly)

So I can understand the single aspect very well.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

So you've interacted with 60+ men in a romantic context and all of them were liars. That statement alone is hard to swallow. But then you reveal that there were instances where you knew they were liars and allowed yourself to be taken advantage of. And you say lying is a deal-breaker for you.

Yes, I'm an aggressive flirt. It comes free with the mental illness. Have only given my body to two people, however, sans vaginal/anal penetration. Some of these interactions lasted days, some lasted weeks, some lasted months, and some lasted years.

Lies range from small, simple things like lying about living with "roommates" who happened to be his parents, to bigger things like cheating.

I've only had four relationships I consider bfs because it got serious and an official title was deemed.

Lying is a deal-breaker if a resolution cannot be achieved, which has proven true for my past four relationships. I can easily part with someone I'm not attached to, which has been all of my interactions except four. I don't automatically break-up once I have an attachment after I discover lies, but it is inevitable and will be apart of the reason the break-up occurs when it finally does. I have to slowly detox him before I'm ready to let go because: misery. Hence why I'm single now. No, lying isn't the only reason why I dumped my bf. It was just apart of a conglomerate of reasons.

Writing every fine, minute detail hasn't been my priority because then a book would become a trilogy, but I guess we all don't mind the amount of oversharing I already conduct. C'est la vie.

 

[IntentionalPun]

Just be awesome and rich.

Problem solved.

 

[Lambhalf]

People are not objects to be disposable or thrown away. Misery follows.

 

[Fenix34]

So you've interacted with 60+ men in a romantic context and all of them were liars. That statement alone is hard to swallow. But then you reveal that there were instances where you knew they were liars and allowed yourself to be taken advantage of. And you say lying is a deal-breaker for you.

This remind me russia. We are at war but its not a war.

 

[Fenix34]

After being dumped by my GF of 6 years I can't see me ever having a gf or partner again myself

Not only do I think I'm 100000% unworthy of finding someone else I'm too introverted and lack of a social circle to find anyone. (Dating apps won't work I'm too ugly)

So I can understand the single aspect very well.

Why you ugly?

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

Why you ugly?

Cause my face looks like it was set on fire

And someone tried to put it out with a screwdriver

 

[Fenix34]

Cause my face looks like it was set on fire

And someone tried to put it out with a screwdriver

Don't care about this. If you worry sent those people off.

 

[Lambhalf]

In my opinion, looks are what a lot of people really do care about. I've never heard of anyone dating someone for their personality.

 

[Fenix34]

In my opinion, looks are what a lot of people really do care about. I've never heard of anyone dating someone for their personality.

No i don't think so.

 

[nush]

I'm also calculating my other relationships and minglings in the mix, which has been a pool of 60+ men. All liars or worse issues.

I can spot red flags with ease.

Vote now, trolling, larping incel or just mental?

Spoiler

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

Don't care about this. If you worry sent those people off.

I'm also overweight lol dating apps are 99% look based

 

[Shubh_C63]

It's going on a date (or just in life) and not putting on any airs, just being yourself 100%.

I think this strategy is probably way more successful for women but you could get the first example from the article. Seems like she was being authentic to the guy about wanting kids but was too extreme in this case

Didn't knew they had a name for that but that has been my go to strategy. Its better to be upfront than to bring my normal anxiety to the table.