Support NeoGAF

[deriks]

 

[Reizo Ryuu]

Yes just lie, or at least nudge it into what they want to hear. A lot of women have severely unrealistic expectations because of social media and dating apps, so it's not a problem for them to see red flags for all kinds of inconsequential things; there's dozens of guys she can get a date with the very next day, so they'll just be sifting through dates until they find someone who sets of the least amount of their flags, or until they realise their expectations are unrealistic.

 

[Toons]

I swear this thread already existed on gaf less than a month ago

With the same egocentric narrative

Oh it did.

This won't be the last.

But that doesn't mean these individuals aren't beign genuine in trying to make a connection

 

[bitbydeath]

B. Women care almost solely about looks. At least initially. A metric ton of my close lady friends have more or less confirmed this

Financial security and feeling safe tops it.
Looks also helps but it doesn’t pay the bills.

 

[Mistake]

I tried being way more assertive with the next girl I talked to, even joked about giving her a butt message, and now I got a date next week

 

[Durien]

Don’t tell them you are driving an Uber. Make something up. If your goal is just to get laid then just lie through your teeth. If you are a hoping to find a wife out of these broads then continue telling the truth and eventually someone will not hold it against you.

Try this on the next 5 dates and see if you get a second date.

Dude, as someone who loves science and psychology, I would love to see how this would play out.

HOWEVER

I highly not recommend trying to build some sort of relationship built on a throne of lies. Because one lie, becomes another, then you need to try and remember them all. They don't like what you do? Sucks to be them.

The older you get, the more women are going to look for security. My recommendation? Look for groups who do things you like to do and let nature take its course.

Be honest, or it will come back to bite you. There is a difference between lying that you like Taylor Swift and lying about your career...

 

[Dane]

Working as an Uber is probably peak red flag filter to test out whose women are worth a chance. In my country at least this ain't no broke person job.

 

[tommib]

Working as an Uber is probably peak red flag filter to test out whose women are worth a chance. In my country at least this ain't no broke person job.

As a gay man partnered for many years now, I would love to hear that some guy was doing Uber on a date. To me it comes off as hard working and it’s a job that takes balls.

All these liberal white collar women so concerned about social justice could easily solve part of the problem by dating working class men. You want to solve class divide? Marry the working class and the poorer. Same for men.

There’s no shame in it.

 

[Mistake]

As a gay man partnered for many years now, I would love to hear that some guy was doing Uber on a date. To me it comes off as hard working and it’s a job that takes balls.

All these liberal white collar women so concerned about social justice, could easily solve part of the problem by dating working class men. You want to solve class divide? Marry the working class and the poorer. Same for men.

There’s no shame in it.

I think taxi/uber drivers have a reputation for being grungy. Blame the cities. When I was in Tokyo, the taxi drivers there seem a lot more like chauffeurs, completely different feeling. Doing uber should prove to women that a man can talk and has good social skills, but

 

[Rentahamster]

Doing uber should prove to women that a man can talk and has good social skills, but

Practically, the only thing that driving for Uber proves, is that you have a driver's license.

 

[arkhamguy123]

Working as an Uber is probably peak red flag filter to test out whose women are worth a chance. In my country at least this ain't no broke person job.

It’s not here either. I do about ~$1000 a week usually but the social stigma is too strong for em I guess :/

 

[Rentahamster]

It’s not here either. I do about ~$1000 a week usually but the social stigma is too strong for em I guess :/

Sometimes it's not the money, but the lack of a long term plan or career path that is off-putting, too. Even if you do have one, many stop listening after "Uber".

 

[arkhamguy123]

Sometimes it's not the money, but the lack of a long term plan or career path that is off-putting, too. Even if you do have one, many stop listening after "Uber".

That’s precisely what it is. Cause I explain my long term goals after but they’re already checked out from disinterest. I could say

“But I’m actually traveling to Austin to cash out my 50 million dollar winning lottery ticket next week” and they’d still be disinterested lol

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Only around 60% of men have a biological child.

First I've heard of this statistic and I'm genuinely shocked by how low it is.

 

[Rentahamster]

That’s precisely what it is. Cause I explain my long term goals after but they’re already checked out from disinterest. I could say

“But I’m actually traveling to Austin to cash out my 50 million dollar winning lottery ticket next week” and they’d still be disinterested lol

To be fair, you'd probably be skeptical too. Actions speak louder than words, and lots of guys straight up lie about this kind of thing, so after you've met enough guys who talk a big game but are actually losers and never get their shit together, you stop giving new men the benefit of the doubt.

 

[EviLore]

First I've heard of this statistic and I'm genuinely shocked by how low it is.

We also each have twice as many female ancestors as male ancestors. This is a big part of why women are often uninterested in "average" men, even when they could be considered average themselves, which confounds a lot of people in the current open dating market. It's a key facet of human reproductive imperatives.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

We also each have twice as many female ancestors as male ancestors. This is a big part of why women are often uninterested in "average" men, even when they could be considered average themselves, which confounds a lot of people in the current open dating market. It's a key facet of human reproductive imperatives.

I think you're adding a layer of interpretation to that study which may not necessarily exist. I don't see any evidence for womens' preference playing a central role in the genetic results. They could just as well be because of "Genghis Khan" like effects of mass rape, or women dying during child birth and men re-marrying.
And the genetic results themselves rely on certain assumptions.

 

[arkhamguy123]

To be fair, you'd probably be skeptical too. Actions speak louder than words, and lots of guys straight up lie about this kind of thing, so after you've met enough guys who talk a big game but are actually losers and never get their shit together, you stop giving new men the benefit of the doubt.

Actually honest to god I wouldn’t. I’m not someone who cares about occupation at all. If I found a woman physically attractive and felt there was chemistry between us, she could work at McDonald’s I wouldn’t give a fuck

But I’m a very rare case. We’re conditioned and socialized in America to associate occupation directly with personal worth and value

 

[Tams]

As a person that has been alive for 27 years, and has been completely and forever invisible to women romantically and sexually (Despite trying in every possible way for years), and who's only success with women is them thinking I'm a fun and nice friend, reading this I can't stop myself from doing this:

It just genuinely annoys me.

You need to start saying, 'no' to them sometimes. Seriously, some'll start begging for you.

Not all out rejection of them, but telling them you don't agree, ideally with an alternative.

 

[nush]

You need to start saying, 'no' to them sometimes. Seriously, some'll start begging for you.

Not all out rejection of them, but telling them you don't agree, ideally with an alternative.

I'm a fun and nice friend

Yeah, the problem is right here, he just can't see it. The first time a woman called me a bastard, was the time I knew I had transcended.

 

[Mistake]

You need to start saying, 'no' to them sometimes. Seriously, some'll start begging for you.

Not all out rejection of them, but telling them you don't agree, ideally with an alternative.

Depends who you say no to. Some will take that to mean screwing around while screwing with you

 

[GigaBowser]

glad i married my highschools sweetheart i am 300 pounds now women sees me as fat piece of furnature i would be dooooooomed hahahhaha

 

[baphomet]

I didn't watch the entire thing, but the first couple minutes isn't far off from how it is.

 

[8bitpill]

I think it's hard due to the social climate of the internet.

People are too wrapped up in the things they're reading about with these micro relationships online and get these ideas seeded in their heads and it becomes their "creed".

I have a friend my age that has been dating on and off the past ten years through dating apps an the stories he tells me sounds like a hellscape. If you're on them to get laid, it's a meat market (that was the initial release of dating apps. Since there has been a whole generational shift it's a weird landscape.

I'm glad I met my wife when we were 23 (17 years ago). We missed the modern dating apps by quite a few years.

Before we met, dating was something that felt a lot more leisure. There was always pressure but not what comes with modern dating.

Some words of advice,

 

[E-Cat]

From my very surface-level read, the rejections come because you don’t appear nonchalant enough, and also ”don’t know who you are”. Basically they want a badass making a lot of money who enjoys what they’re doing at the same time.

 

[arkhamguy123]

From my very surface-level read, the rejections come because you don’t appear nonchalant enough, and also ”don’t know who you are”. Basically they want a badass making a lot of money who enjoys what they’re doing at the same time.

Actually a pretty good read on it. Lately I’ve found things go better for me when I’m just authentically myself and not in “impress and entertain this woman” mode

 

[Golgo 13]

First of all OP, you are not alone. This is dating in 2024 as a man. Harder than ever, zero question about it. Social media is absolute poison to human relationships and it has made dating a mess.

I’d say a few things - EvilOre is wise and he is correct - get a better job, or lie (NEVER lie to woman who you want a long term relationship with, however). Very few women will date you as an Uber Driver. Facts. Also realize that dating is inherently unfair and brutal to average men. Accept it, deep in your soul, be at peace with it - shit is going to be HARD with a lot of rejection. It will be a long process to get anywhere.

Secondly, if you’re using dating apps, get help. There’s plenty of good YouTube channels with profile tutorials for dating sites. I remember when I made some changes to my profile my matches increased by 10x. Consider using something like FaceApp for enhancing your photos (mild enhancements, don’t go crazy, basically the equivalent of getting pictures professionally done for much cheaper).

I also really like Corey Wayne’s work on dating. Some of the best mindset advice for men dating that I’ve ever seen - his stuff works, and it’s common sense stuff that most men (including me) overlook because it’s counter-instinctual.

 

[arkhamguy123]

First of all OP, you are not alone. This is dating in 2024 as a man. Harder than ever, zero question about it. Social media is absolute poison to human relationships and it has made dating a mess.

I’d say a few things - EvilOre is wise and he is correct - get a better job, or lie (NEVER lie to woman who you want a long term relationship with, however). Very few women will date you as an Uber Driver. Facts. Also realize that dating is inherently unfair and brutal to average men. Accept it, deep in your soul, be at peace with it - shit is going to be HARD with a lot of rejection. It will be a long process to get anywhere.

Secondly, if you’re using dating apps, get help. There’s plenty of good YouTube channels with profile tutorials for dating sites. I remember when I made some changes to my profile my matches increased by 10x. Consider using something like FaceApp for enhancing your photos (mild enhancements, don’t go crazy, basically the equivalent of getting pictures professionally done for much cheaper).

I also really like Corey Wayne’s work on dating. Some of the best mindset advice for men dating that I’ve ever seen - his stuff works, and it’s common sense stuff that most men (including me) overlook because it’s counter-instinctual.

BRB bout to go jump off a bridge

Cause I can’t go back to regular work and it’ll take time, probably lots, to build something sexier and more acceptable as a freelancer or independent contractor

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

A girl showed me her Tinder matches in real life because she was ego tripping at me. It blew my mind because she was five hamburgers away from being Gorlock the Destroyer.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Is there an age limit for a relationship?

 

[Madserb2023]

First I've heard of this statistic and I'm genuinely shocked by how low it is.

That has been the case for most of human history. Only about 50% of men historically pass on their genetics as to why whe have twice as many female ancestors as males. So 50% of men of no children and the other 50% get two women on average pregnant. The reason it's so noticeable now is because men used to die in war, or would have been monks etc. it's more observable now.

 

[Mr Reasonable]

First of all OP, you are not alone. This is dating in 2024 as a man. Harder than ever, zero question about it.

I reckon women feel the same, tbh.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

That has been the case for most of human history. Only about 50% of men historically pass on their genetics as to why whe have twice as many female ancestors as males. So 50% of men of no children and the other 50% get two women on average pregnant. The reason it's so noticeable now is because men used to die in war, or would have been monks etc. it's more observable now.

Ok, but when we say that a certain country has an average birth rate of 2.5 (for example), does that mean 2.5 children for every woman giving birth? Because if not, then it wouldn't be considered above the rate of replacement.

Which means there are a similar number of men having 0 kids as men having 5 kids from two women in such a scenario. Even in EviLore's 60% scenario this would be roughly correct. That's kind of wild to me.

 

[Madserb2023]

Ok, but when we say that a certain country has an average birth rate of 2.5 (for example), does that mean 2.5 children for every woman giving birth? Because if not, then it wouldn't be considered above the rate of replacement.

Which means there are a similar number of men having 0 kids as men having 5 kids from two women in such a scenario. Even in EviLore's 60% scenario this would be roughly correct. That's kind of wild to me.

It is weird when you think about but it is the case. You can have 100 men and 100 women and 99 men can have no children and 1 man can impregnate all 100 women and have 2.1 children with each and replace the entire population. That's how it was works but of course in an extreme case.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

It is weird when you think about but it is the case. You can have 100 men and 100 women and 99 men can have no children and 1 man can impregnate all 100 women and have 2.1 children with each and replace the entire population. That's how it was works but of course in an extreme case.

I hear you. In reality not all women even give birth so it's interesting to look at how these numbers translate into average number of children per father. They'd have to be quite higher than the reported rate of birth to make sense.

 

[Braag]

Honestly, I feel like you're overthinking it and turning it into a job. Just relax, be chill and think about it like you're meeting new people, instead of using it as some vetting system to see with whom you can start a relationship with. If it turn into something, it will happen naturally. At least that's my experience with it. I've never had to use dating apps though, so can't comment on that.

 

[Mistake]

Hot take. If dating apps allow a number for height, they should also put a number for weight

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

Hot take. If dating apps allow a number for height, they should also put a number for weight

CEO shit right here.

 

[YCoCg]

Pro-tip: it's possible to find someone, just that apps blast that possibility wide open, so before if you had like 10-15 dates to find someone you'd start a relationship with, that pool is now like 100 matches before you'd find someone you'd like to date.

There's plenty of people seeking a relationship just as there's many seeking hook ups, NSA, etc, it's tiring but to get results you just have to stick at it but not let it become your sole purpose.

 

[arkhamguy123]

Hot take. If dating apps allow a number for height, they should also put a number for weight

Completely agree