• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

NO GIRLFRIEND, no expectations about it...

HighPoly

Banned
yeah,
Guys, I don't have a girlfriend, and in theory I'm not so sad about it, but... Sometimes I miss someone...
I mean, I waste my time with my hobby, you know... My collectables... like, Action Figures by HOT TOYS or Iron Studios...
You know, I think people that use to spend some money with these things use to be depressive in real life...
Well, I have a Bipolar Disorder, but I'm in treatment for a long time. I can say I'm pretty stable now...
I'm doing my second university, while living with my parents, you know, in my bedroom...
Some friends here and there... The majority of them are living in their own houses with their wives and kids...
I'm really glab, because I don't have kids right now, you know... The world and people are getting so weird today...
Anyway, I use to go to the gym, not to make huge muscles, but just to mantain my current weight. I'm a little bit fat than I'd like to be today...
Girls are so problematic todays, or maybe I'm a kind of freak lonely guy... I don't really know...
I got some girlfriends in the past, two girlfriends and nothing more...

what about you?
 
Last edited:

winjer

Gold Member
Like George Washington said, 'It Is Better To Be Alone Than In Bad Company'?

Don't worry about being alone. Worry about being happy.
If the right girl comes by, grab the opportunity. But otherwise, don't fret about it. I have seen a few couples that were miserable together.
 

NeoGiffer

Member
Just make the best with the hand you're dealt with

90c35db7f6c894b4f5abbee31dccc5d5.gif
 

Hudo

Member
I wouldn't stress about it too much unless you really want to have a family yourself. Don't get a girl just because you want to have a girlfriend or because you are lonely or because you feel that it's "the norm"; that's almost always the recipe for drama down the line.
Are you friends with some girls? These are usually the ones to go for (if they are into you as well, of course). Love born out of friendship is usually the most stable for long-term/serious relationships.
Maybe you will meet some nice people at conventions or at university. I can recommend also doing some courses that might not have much to do with your major; broadens your horizons and you meet people who are completely different.

But the most important thing, at least in my opinion, is to be able to be happy with and by yourself. If you aren't, a girlfriend won't help you either (actually, it will only make everything worse in the long run in a relationship).
And don't call your hobbies "wasted time". If you enjoy them, it's not time wasted. Unless you think your happiness is a waste of time (which it isn't).
Lastly, stop thinking about what others have and you don't have. Grass is always greener on the other side; you only see others from a limited perspective. There could be a lot of shit and baggage there that you just don't see. Feel good about what you achieved so far and take (small) steps into achieving what you want to.
Who gives a shit about others? You're not them, you are you. And that's good. Because there's only one of you in this fucking world; we don't need two of someone else.
 
Last edited:

PlayofSparta

Gold Member
I'm 30 and never had a girlfriend. Schizoid personality disorder, also doing my second university. To be honest, I just want to get a good work. But if this matter a lot to you (it does, if not you would had not made this thread), learn to deal with solitude if there's no other form. Solitude can be a bless - meditate if you can - you are the master of your life, not meds, weight or some girl. That's only my opinion.
 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Married twelve years bro. Haven't had physical intimacy of any sort in 8 years.

If I leave, another man will raise my young daughter (men have no family rights in Ireland), I'll lose my home, my modest finances and probably my job because the neighbourhood where we live has skyrocketed out of my price range.

I'm Catholic and can't find much in the way of any loopholes in my religious beliefs for divorce either.

After collecting my kid from school, helping her with her homework, making her meal and getting her cleaned and dressed for bed I'm too tired to even watch a twitch stream.

Tbh I'm just there for my kid. Who is my heart and soul. Living with the emotional abuse from my wife has aged me though.
Why not just go away...
 

winjer

Gold Member
Married twelve years bro. Haven't had physical intimacy of any sort in 8 years.

If I leave, another man will raise my young daughter (men have no family rights in Ireland), I'll lose my home, my modest finances and probably my job because the neighbourhood where we live has skyrocketed out of my price range.

I'm Catholic and can't find much in the way of any loopholes in my religious beliefs for divorce either.

After collecting my kid from school, helping her with her homework, making her meal and getting her cleaned and dressed for bed I'm too tired to even watch a twitch stream.

Tbh I'm just there for my kid. Who is my heart and soul. Living with the emotional abuse from my wife has aged me though.

It's because of storis like this, that I'm glad I never got married.
For some people, marriage can work very well. But I think that is a rare thing.
Here in Portugal, the number of divorces per 100 marriages, per year, has been around 70% for the last decade. In 2020, it peaked at 91.5%.

You have a lot to lose in case o a divorce, but sometimes it's just better to cut your loses and move on.
 
Been single for 12 years, single life is best life. I've got my 2 daughters, and that's all I need. I've dated occasionally during this time frame, but haven't found anyone that I really like so I stay single.
The market value for the 46 year old single dad/recovering alcoholic/video game nerd isn't exactly on fire. The dating pool locally is abysmal to say the least, especially in my age bracket.
 

Tams

Member
I was going to come in here and take the piss out of you, but you seem sincere enough.

Collecting things as a hobby is fine, but it is a considerable financial drain. Money you could at least partially use for something more social.

Gyms suck in many ways, but they are an opportunity to meet people, and they do get you fitter.

Honestly, it sounds like you just need some more hobbies. At least some of them being active ones, preferably at least one outdoor one (but hey, squash or something is great too).

And you don't need to go all in on them. Once or twice a month of many different hobbies is probably better than a few you do a lot.

Edit; And yeah, travel is great as k_trout k_trout mentioned. I mean, it can suck at times, badly. But to find interesting ladies, you are far more likely to do so away from home. Plus, experiencing new places in itself is fun.
 
Last edited:

niilokin

Member
The seriously twisted thing about long time loneliness is that it's a boogeyman that makes you miserable but it also offers you safety and does everything to protect you.
 

Dr.Morris79

Member
Married twelve years bro. Haven't had physical intimacy of any sort in 8 years.

If I leave, another man will raise my young daughter (men have no family rights in Ireland), I'll lose my home, my modest finances and probably my job because the neighbourhood where we live has skyrocketed out of my price range.

I'm Catholic and can't find much in the way of any loopholes in my religious beliefs for divorce either.

After collecting my kid from school, helping her with her homework, making her meal and getting her cleaned and dressed for bed I'm too tired to even watch a twitch stream.

Tbh I'm just there for my kid. Who is my heart and soul. Living with the emotional abuse from my wife has aged me though.
If this is true, your best course of action from today is to start recording what's been happening, however you can, right now.

If she wants to throw you under a bus it sounds like she won't have a problem doing it.

This is why you need proof of actions against you. Without it you'll have a hard time going against anything thrown your way.
 

Skyfox

Member
If this is true, your best course of action from today is to start recording what's been happening, however you can, right now.

If she wants to throw you under a bus it sounds like she won't have a problem doing it.

This is why you need proof of actions against you. Without it you'll have a hard time going against anything thrown your way.
The only thing she does against me is no physical intimacy.
 

Cyberpunkd

Member
yeah,
Guys, I don't have a girlfriend, and in theory I'm not so sad about it, but... Sometimes I miss someone...
I mean, I waste my time with my hobby, you know... My collectables... like, Action Figures by HOT TOYS or Iron Studios...
You know, I think people that use to spend some money with these things use to be depressive in real life...
Well, I have a Bipolar Disorder, but I'm in treatment for a long time. I can say I'm pretty stable now...
I'm doing my second university, while living with my parents, you know, in my bedroom...
Some friends here and there... The majority of them are living in their own houses with their wives and kids...
I'm really glab, because I don't have kids right now, you know... The world and people are getting so weird today...
Anyway, I use to go to the gym, not to make huge muscles, but just to mantain my current weight. I'm a little bit fat than I'd like to be today...
Girls are so problematic todays, or maybe I'm a kind of freak lonely guy... I don't really know...
I got some girlfriends in the past, two girlfriends and nothing more...

what about you?
JFK, Weekend GAF is really pushing it. One thread was not enough: https://www.neogaf.com/threads/im-t...ms-sadness-love.1657914/page-2#post-268453711 ?

What about me? I was the most 'dress in all black, skinny, hated the gym, I'm better than others' introverted kid when I was a teen. Then I grew up, because I was thinking being miserable play doesn't really work for me.

Also 'a bit fat' is what? 20kg? 30?
 

nush

Member
Not to make light of your situation, but maybe it's time for a side hoe..

Rick Ross Booty GIF by Worldstar Hip Hop

Escorts, the winning move. That's one value of a nice gift she won't be seeing if she can't be bothers to maintain the physical side of the relationship. You might as well be living with your sister/mother and pay everything for them. As least they are more likely to be appreciative and not entitled.
 

Tams

Member
The only thing she does against me is no physical intimacy.

That's a form of emotional abuse, especially if she doesn't want you to be having sex with other people.

And nowadays, despite all the woke nonsense our current time has also brought, you might at least get listened to about that.

Alone it will likely be seen as something the authorities can't act on, but should you divorce, courts will take it into consideration, especially if you push it.
 

Tams

Member
This is the advice that needs to be given more often.

Not just for finding a partner/love either.

And stay in hostels quite a bit.

Sure, there are some right weirdos in some of them, and you may well not get a good night's sleep.

But the communal areas are, well communal so great to meet people. I've at the least had travelling companions for various cities that I met in hostels, and some are even friends now.

Not to mention, some pretty sexy and interesting ladies do also stay there. Just a few months ago I met two German girls who were staying in hostels so that they had more money for other things. Had a great time with them and more people to meet up with should I ever be in Germany.
 

West Texas CEO

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
That's a form of emotional abuse, especially if she doesn't want you to be having sex with other people.

And nowadays, despite all the woke nonsense our current time has also brought, you might at least get listened to about that.

Alone it will likely be seen as something the authorities can't act on, but should you divorce, courts will take it into consideration, especially if you push it.
What's the endgame, though?
The dude wants to raise his child responsibly in a two parent household and also, just as every man, needs physical intimacy from his wife.

Other than making himself more sexually desirable to his wife , I say he should start banging his wife's older sister to take care of his needs.
 

Tams

Member
What's the endgame, though?
The dude wants to raise his child responsibly in a two parent household and also, just as every man, needs physical intimacy from his wife.

Other than making himself more sexually desirable to his wife , I say he should start banging his wife's older sister to take care of his needs.

I say he should steal her lunches and only stop if she starts shagging him again.
 
D

Deleted member 1159

Unconfirmed Member
The way I found myself desirable and hitting it off with the ladies was to stop trying to find the one and just be happy being me. After I got into that space, I started having fun and it wasn’t long before I found my wife.
 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
OP it is such a weird position to say "women are so problematic nowadays", well are they? Maybe you just taking that info from social media, which isn't healthy. They are fine, same as man. Its just stupid social media, which makes them look stupid.
 

Bojji

Member
OP it is such a weird position to say "women are so problematic nowadays", well are they? Maybe you just taking that info from social media, which isn't healthy. They are fine, same as man. Its just stupid social media, which makes them look stupid.

We are lucky to live in central europe, woke and feminist propaganda is not that commonly spread here. I personally didn't had any girlfriend between 18-30 (so not at all lol), but it was my choice mostly, I thought prostitution was the better (and less expensive in a long run) way to sort all my sexual needs. But overall most woman are great here, I met my (current fiance) 3 years ago and my life is much better with her than previously.

But of course I don't live in UK or US so I don't personally know how problematic woman there are, maybe internet is fucking up my perspective.
 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
We are lucky to live in central europe, woke and feminist propaganda is not that commonly spread here. I personally didn't had any girlfriend between 18-30 (so not at all lol), but it was my choice mostly, I thought prostitution was the better (and less expensive in a long run) way to sort all my sexual needs. But overall most woman are great here, I met my (current fiance) 3 years ago and my life is much better with her than previously.

But of course I don't live in UK or US so I don't personally know how problematic woman there are, maybe internet is fucking up my perspective.
Its has ups and downs living here, because women are here far more cold and you really can't show emotions, etc. Its a trade off
 

Bojji

Member
Its has ups and downs living here, because women are here far more cold and you really can't show emotions, etc. Its a trade off

Maybe, only comparison I can make is with videos or movies from other parts of the world.

People here are cold in general to others but once you break that "stranger" barrier they can become really friendly. There is also massive difference in how people behave now compared to ~20 years ago, they look way more happy now.
 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Maybe, only comparison I can make is with videos or movies from other parts of the world.

People here are cold in general to others but once you break that "stranger" barrier they can become really friendly. There is also massive difference in how people behave now compared to ~20 years ago, they look way more happy now.
True, but I dated people from west and here and it is still a significant difference
 
OP it is such a weird position to say "women are so problematic nowadays", well are they? Maybe you just taking that info from social media, which isn't healthy. They are fine, same as man. Its just stupid social media, which makes them look stupid.
What is when most women you meet irl are more or less the same like the ones portrayed on social media?

I personally would honestly just like a bunch of kids to take care of and raise. Why can women do this and men not? It’s not right smh.
 

Skyfox

Member
Escorts, the winning move. That's one value of a nice gift she won't be seeing if she can't be bothers to maintain the physical side of the relationship. You might as well be living with your sister/mother and pay everything for them. As least they are more likely to be appreciative and not entitled.
Illegal in Ireland.

Men here have it pretty bad.
 

Bojji

Member
Illegal in Ireland.

Men here have it pretty bad.

My friend lived in Ireland for a few years and showed me many profiles of escort girls (but he never tried their services). So it may be illegal but it's still happening.
 

Hip Hop

Member
I stopped dating to work in myself for 4 years and now that I have got to where I want to be, I don't have to ask for phone numbers anymore. I walk in, they notice me. They want to make conversation while their boyfriend is there, just a bunch of snakes to watch for really is where I am at.

Now that I have unlimited choices, I can't pick one to stay with cause of it it kinda sucks.

Being wanted and being top dog is not really all that is made out to be honestly I kinda wish I hadn't worked on myself that much.
 

Dice

Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Now that I have unlimited choices, I can't pick one to stay with cause of it it kinda sucks.

Being wanted and being top dog is not really all that is made out to be honestly I kinda wish I hadn't worked on myself that much.
It really is so much trouble to filter through all the snakes to find someone quality who will build a relationship for reasons other than exploiting your success. Especially in view of how much you can lose and how much misery you can get locked into going through if you make your bet on the wrong one after all that effort, I can totally understand why some guys just give up on the idea and "have fun" in perpetuity.
 
Top Bottom